On the road last night and the mobile rings
“What” I say surprised “He did what?”
My girlfriend has just arrived home and unfortunately she was running a little behind schedule.
A quarter of an hour, to be exact.
She rings because she’s scared. She knows I know why, and that’s why she can ring me.
It's about one of those sticky, ugly family issues that causes long-term damage.
That quarter of an hour, made her "late".
This time, its time that is the issue that needs to be controlled.
She has just had a verbal thrashing, something that she is accustomed to and has survived by building and rebuilding emotional walls to shut out the pain and the growing sense of humiliation. Except this time it’s different, this time she sensed the thrashing almost crossed the ever so thin line from verbal abuse to physical abuse.
She’s in her room , whispering …a desperate whimper and I can only catch every other word since I’m driving at 7pm on a very busy motorway with 2 people in the car…Must leave, can’t stay, too scared, no more.
Since my extra set of emergency house keys have gone walkabout, I tell her to visit a friend and promise I’ll pick her up in 3 hours on my way home. My voice is full of assurances to give her the courage to do what she feels compelled to do, ESCAPE. She sneaks out of the house to find temporary relief from the violence.
I hang up the phone and realise that there is a heavy silence in the car. Not quite what I’d planned, but hey this is part of life too and it’s happening right here and now …nobody would plan this anyway, its part of all the unpredictable real live stuff that happens daily all over the world when people interact and fear and power overtake our emotions.
Dinner with friends is so warm, friendly and fun. Lots of laughs, one of our best mates is leaving this week for 8 months around the world. He’s pulling the plug on “civilized”
Teary happy good-bye hugs and Skype promises and I’m again behind the wheel driving back.
Now my two passengers are boosted by the loving kindness we experienced over dinner and actively begin planning the rest of the evening’s actions far beyond the distressed friend’s pick-up. They project into the relationship, what’s right, what’s wrong and on and on and on.
We are all in the car now, we drive for a bit but there’s too much fear swirling about inside the car. I pull over and we sit, roll down the windows to admire the reflection of the lights of church spire on the cloudy sky, smoke and talk.
Mobile phone rings and I listen to Mr VerbalAbuse express with increasing volume how much he does not appreciate my getting involved.
No shit Sherlock, the cats out of the bag – your turn to squirm.
Hang up, smoke some more and let time work its magic.
30 minutes go by and I get my first giggle.
We all know that something has changed forever tonight.
You’re gonna loose that girl drifts into my brains boombox.
